Wings, Words, Where I'll Be

April 2

Good evening, all.

A bunch of people came over to watch the NCAA tournament tonight, so it was another time of chicken wings, fried cheese, beer, dip and other such felicities. Afterward we went to Pergolesi and sat on the deck, drinking and talking.

I love smart people. We talked (and sometimes heatedly argued) about man's role in nature, about genetically altered food, about moral and environmental reasons for becoming vegetarian, about obsessions, about altering the environment... well, you get the general idea. Pretty good conversation.

Then home, where the couch acted as a gravity well; me and Lynne and Scott and Alex (another grad student, who might take over my room when I leave the Other House) watched a tape of Jackie Chan fight scenes, then segued neatly into The Simpsons.

Needless to say, my erotica story didn't get written. I think I'll be able to tackle it tomorrow night, though, or at least make a good start.

I talked to Meg tonight, figuring some stuff out. So, the tentative plan is this: I'll work until the end of April/beginning of May. Then PovertyFest 2001 commences-- four weeks of weddings, graduations, conventions, and visiting family and friends in North Carolina. After that I return to Santa Cruz. I'll possibly be able to work at my current job, at least in a part-time capacity, after I get back. In the summer there's tons of other part-time options, too. It might be fun to do some house-painting; I haven't done that in a while, and as far as physical stuff goes, I always rather liked it. Well, whatever-- I'll pay the bills somehow, even if I have to (shudder) wait tables for the hordes of tourists.

The other option would be to stay in N.C. after May, imposing on Mom. Which has certain enticing elements-- living rent free, not working, writing a lot-- but ultimately I don't think it would work out very well. I wouldn't have a room of my own, a place where I could shut the door and work; I'd be sleeping on the couch; I'd get in everybody's way and on everybody's nerves. The other advantage of living in N.C. for a couple of months would be frequent visits with Meg... but even that would be awkward, since we wouldn't have a place of our own. So I think it's best for me to come back to California until the end of summer, at which time me and Meg can move up to New York.

And, to be honest, I'm not ready to leave this place, and the people here, at the end of this month. I need more time to extricate myself, to get used to the idea of Going Away. Until last week, I figured me and Meg would be living out here next year. It's fine that we're not, and I'm excited about the future, but it'll be good to have a few months to get used to the idea.

Yet I like this being-overcome. I like life's surprise attacks. The unexpected, the opening doors, the widening of eyes and the anticipations that a short time ago didn't exist at all. The destruction of ruts; the subversion of tropisms.

Mmm. Life keeps on keeping me interested.

Once upon a time there was what there was, and if nothing had happened there would be nothing to tell.

-Charles de Lint