Holly Jolly Fa-La-La

Happy December!

I posted another entry yesterday, so if you didn't read that, head into the November entries section... Or don't. I mostly just talked about what I've been doing the past couple of days. Nothing vital.

This is usually such a fun month... in the past, it's meant a big break in the school year, and carousing on my birthday (the 12th, if any of you want to shower me with gifts or good wishes), and then Xmas with my family, and then more carousing with D. on his birthday (17 days after mine), and then New Year's... and, more generally, listening to Counting Crows songs, riding in the car with Scott, eating lots of yummy food, cuddling up in warm blankets, preferably with someone under the blankets with me to make it even warmer...

But I don't know how this December will be. Meg's coming on the 27th, so at least the last 4 days of the month (and year, and century, and millenium, to get even more arbitrary about it) will be excellent. But earlier in the month... Scott and Lynne are going away for a couple-few weeks, visiting family, which I can't really afford to do right now. I'm already planning to take time off during Meg's visit, and if I took time off to travel, too, I basically wouldn't work for two and a half weeks, and I can't go without that money... So it's gonna be a sort of lonely Xmas. I'll read books, and rent a lot of movies to see me through... I've got Miracle and Other Christmas Stories by Connie Willis coming in the mail soon, and that'll both sustain me and make me sad, I bet. I'll probably write a lot. If I had a novel queued up and outlined and ready to go, I'd write that this month, but I don't. Just some short story notions, and oceans of revision. I'll stay occupied... but there's going to be a string of days when it's just me in the house with Brenda's cats. I'll have to try hard to avoid being sad and lonely.

Today I've gotten really homesick for my family. Not that the family Xmas would be like it used to be, anyway; my parents split up last year, and now live several hours apart. Still, it'll be awful to be alone, thinking of them opening presents, eating too much candy, having a nice breakfast. I usually give my little sister books, stories that I want her to read (in the past I've given her the Alice books, and the Earthsea quartet, and other such things). I give my brother music, preferably obscure or local bands that he would otherwise have never heard. I'll still give them those sorts of presents this year... but I won't get to see them open the gifts. Which is, for me, the best part. Seeing a smile that you made.

I'm nostalgic for old friends, too. I talked on the phone to Amily last night (Amily was my high-school (and a bit of college) sweetheart, a really lovely person). She lives in Asheville now, in NC. We used to always get together for Xmas, all of our friends, and exchange gifts. We always spent too much money, and it was wonderful.

Gah. I'm sorry. I'll try to avoid doing this. You guys don't want a month of mopey entries, and I've got a couple weeks before the house empties out anyway. At least the lines at the coffee shop will be shorter with all the students gone. And Dune begins on the Sci-Fi Channel this Sunday, so that's something to look forward to.

Anyway. Not dowsing for sympathy, here... I'm just thinking about my family, Mom and Dad and Wayne and Jo, a lot. And the innumerable aunts, uncles, and cousins, for that matter. It's just going to be weird, to not be surrounded by bustle during Xmas week.

Ah, well. Tra la. I just have to reconfigure my expectations/desires. I'll be fine.