12 p.m.

Okay, I’m starting to get a serious headache from looking at Quark, so maybe a brief switch to another computer program will help. And it’ll lead to me writing an entry, which I’ve been meaning to do, even if I don’t have anything much to say.

I’m making major changes to a big manual today… the changes are handwritten, and on any given page the corrections mostly obliterate the original text. It’s a little overwhelming, to be honest. But really, it’s not that different from the work I did at Lowe’s (hell, I’m even using Quark, the same program I used doing advertising). The key is to take it one thing at a time. Don’t worry about the fact that the whole page is bleeding red ink; just make one change, and then make another, and then another… and a couple of hours disappear, and you’ve made progress. I enjoy doing this kind of work, to be honest. It’s easy, I’m comfortable with it, and it makes the work day pass. I’ve just been working on this manual a lot for the past couple of months, and I’m sick of looking at it.

We’ve started doing secret Santa here at work (it’s a real small office), in a daily-small-gifts way. I just discovered some pretzels and mango juice on my desk. Yum. That helps my morale.

The weather is absolutely gorgeous; it’s actually a little too hot up here on the second floor where I’m working today. Last night was so warm I slept on top of the covers. The promised, torrential winter rains have yet to begin. Boone, I’m sure, is a freezing hell of wind today. Ah, California…

1 p.m.

Okay, did some more work. I had a couple of images I needed to mess with in Photoshop, so that made a nice break from wading through impenetrable corrections. I still don’t know anything about Photoshop, and I’m only quasi-competent at Quark, but I know enough to do the things I’m required to do. Still, there’s always the fear that I’ll be assigned some project that I don’t know how to deal with. Hasn’t happened yet, though, and it’s pretty dumb to worry about something like that in the abstract. I don’t like to stress over my day job. This is just the bill-paying treadmill, after all. Have to keep that in mind.

Wish I had something interesting to tell you. I’ve been watching the Dune mini-series, and am pretty well pleased with it. I don’t think it’s a perfect production, but I’ve been entertained, and it’s a hell of a lot better than the Lynch movie. I’m reading Pat Murphy’s Nadya, though I’ve only just started it.

I’ve also been reading Orson Scott Card’s political essays on his Ornery American site, and have lots of rather jumbled thoughts on that subject (including “How can I like and respect a man so much when I fundamentally disagree with so many of his ideas” and “If (a) Scott is one of the most intelligent, responsible people I know, and (b) I disagree with many of his social and political opinions, does that mean that (c) I am, by contrast, unintelligent and irresponsible?”)

But I’m not going to get started on that subject. For one thing, I need to think about it more, lest I do myself and Scott a disservice. For another thing, I have corrections to make. :)

2:36 p.m.

I went to Pergolesi last night with materials for a bunch of different projects, and wound up just flipping through Brewer’s for about an hour. I learned so much, about Demogorgon, Mohammed and the spider, Mélisandé the snake-woman, botanomancy… really great, some wonderful stuff to go into my mishmash mental story-idea-bucket. Jenn says my “thing” is mixing together all sorts of unrelated elements and bits of different genres, and there’s a lot of truth to that. “Haruspex” is a crime/spy/ritual magic/sorcererpunk/horror/love story and “Captain Fantasy” is about neurological disorders, war criminals, superheroes, and role models. I won’t even get started on the bizarre mix of things that influenced “Rangergirl” (which is presently in the throes of severe revision). For me, that’s the most fun way to come up with ideas for fiction. I read widely; why shouldn’t my stories and novels reflect that? Scott Card talks about his subconscious story-generation process, in which two unrelated ideas drift together, and a strange tension emerges. Maybe I work in somewhat the same way. Why else would I want to write a book combining Gilles de Rais and Lakota mythology? Or a story about John Dee’s magic crystal, corporate viciousness, and Pancho Villa’s missing head?

I get excited just thinking about it.

Sigh. Hours to go before I’m done. Back to the Quark mines.

4:03 p.m.

Ever closer to freedom. The last several pages have gone quickly; dare I say I found a rhythm? To making corrections?

Still thinking about Scott Card's politics... and I guess what it comes down to is that he's a devoutly religious, family-oriented conservative, and I'm an atheistic libertarian. Our backgrounds and contexts are fundamentally different. So I don't think I'll go into a long rant about specific issues he's written about, and why I disagree with them; it seems obvious after a little thought that our priorities are as different as our perspectives, and that we'd just be talking past each other. With the life I lead and the things I love, I can't be anything but libertarian (and I refer here not to a political affiliation but to social philosophy). For Scott, it's different. He would consider me sadly wrong about many things, and I think he's worrying about some things he shouldn't worry about (I don't think legally recognizing same-sex marriages would diminish the sanctity of traditional heterosexual marriage a bit, for example) and that he's ignoring some things that deserve to be feared... but neither of us has any monopoly on correctness or truth. Scott Card gave me confidence in my writing, he helped me believe in myself, he taught me a lot, and he's never been less than generous to, kind to, and supportive of me. He's a good man. I can choose to ignore some differences, even some pretty big ones, in light of those facts.

I'll never engage him on the subject of politics, or global warming, or the media, though. He really is smarter than me, and he'd dismantle my crudely-constructed arguments handily. :) I'll stick to talking to him about writing and art and Italian food...

And really, all else aside, the guy writes such absolutely brilliant books!

What a weird entry. You never know what you're going to get when you come to Tropism, do you? I guess I'll stop now.