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Author: Tim Pratt

The Onrushing D

My dear friend Dawson (AKA “D,” “D-Lite,” “Commander D”, “Vitamin D,” “The D-Fenestrator,” “Freelance Spiritual Adviser and Minister of War,” etc.) is visiting soon, for the first time in, what, 18 months? He’s arriving late Thursday (if the travel gods are kind) and staying with us for a week. It will be a week of awesome. For complex and boring issues related to the magazine production schedule at my day job, I can’t take any vacation days while he’s here, but I’m juggling my schedule around to maximize free time, aligning my usual days off into a glorious four-day run of freedom. I’m sure for portions of it I’ll even be sober.

D is our kid’s godfather (don’t worry, our kid also has a sciencefather), and the boy is very excited to see his “Uncle D” again. We’ve already promised River that D will read him Sandra Boynton’s Barnyard Dance and act out all the dance moves. (We haven’t told D this yet, but he’ll roll with it. He’s good like that.)

Dawson is the world’s greatest houseguest. (Well, I guess maybe there are houseguests who fill your cupboards with golden coins and delicious ham, leaving you fabulously wealthy and sated by pork during their visit? But other than such hypothetical houseguests, yeah, D is the best.) The house is actually *cleaner* when he leaves. He decreases entropy by his very existence. (Except the fun kinds of entropy.) It’s like: who needs a vacation, when D is visiting? His mere presence is a vacation.

Friends like that are a treasure to be treasured by any and all who treasure treasure.

(Anyway, if you don’t hear from me much in the next week, that’s why. I’ll be busy discussing the finer points of Stephen King trivia, watching D and my wife do Aikido in the yard, listening to my kid giggle uncontrollably, and stealing D’s french fries. Is there anything better than a friend who never finishes his fries?)

Impossible Dreams: The (Short) Movie

Behold! The trailer for a short film by Shir Comay based on my Hugo Award-winning story “Impossible Dreams.”

(If that embedded video doesn’t play for you, try this link instead.)

I’ve seen a not-quite-final cut of the whole film, and it’s really lovely, retaining much that I love about my own story without being a literal or slavish adaptation, and with the director’s personal vision shining through.

So: how cool! The first film inspired by my work! And it’s a movie of a story that’s all about movies. (So meta.)

A couple of years ago the director got in touch and asked if he could make a short, non-commercial Hebrew-language film, and my agents and I said, sure. To be honest, I wasn’t expecting much — I figured it would be a couple of the director’s college roommates as actors, mumbling their lines into the camera. Instead he got the marvelous Ayala Zilberman and Ori Yaniv, who do an awesome job. It’s going to be in the Jerusalem Film Festival, and the director plans to submit it to some international festivals as well.

I’ve been full of “Whee!” about this for a week. Hope you all enjoy the trailer, and if and when it’s possible to point you toward the full film, I will.

So Many Things To See And Buy!

Linky times y’all.

First, check out Tiger Bright Studios, Jenn Reese’s new design company specializing in e-book covers. Jenn’s work is made of ten kinds of awesome, and her prices are quite competitive.

Shadow Unit just concluded their 3rd season of awesomeness. Go give the writers some money so they can do season 4 without going broke. And if you haven’t read it, and you like serial killer / behavioral analysis / forensic profiling / supernatural / police procedural stuff, you’ve got some wonderful stories ahead of you.

Get Michael Canfield’s awesomely weird e-book collection 419 Memoirs & Other Strange Stories at Amazon.com in Kindle format or at B&N.com for the Nook. I wrote the introduction. Mike’s one of my favorite writers of weird fiction, and this is a book of his weirdest.

(Yes, I used a variant of “awesome” in all those paragraphs; this is not bad writing, but an indication that awesomeness is my THEME.)

What Needs Doing

I have a to-do list. Maybe it’s of interest as a list of things writers have to do that don’t involve spinning fanciful tales of might-have-been and never-could-be (with optional monsters and explosions)? Or maybe I’m just posting it so I’ll stop forgetting things and putting them off. You may never know!


  • Write and record a brief piece about Welcome to Bordertown for a podcast (must happen tonight!)

  • Look over a proofreader’s comments and see if I want to make any more changes to Briarpatch (by Thursday morning!)

  • Finish this Conrad Williams novel so I can review it

  • Write a review of Eutopia by David Nickle

  • Create covers and format more short stories for sale as e-books

This is in addition to doing the edits for my Wizards of the Coast novel, which should be appearing in my inbox shortly. And of course writing the remaining 50,000 words of City of the Fallen Sky by the August 1 due date. Then I have two stories to write in August, and one story to write in September, and of course another novel due in February 2012, and there are a couple of other projects percolating that might actually happen…

Plus, you know. Full-time job at a magazine. Marriage. Fatherhood. Etc.

It’s good to keep busy. And, actually, the back half of this year is comparatively leisurely compared to, say, last year. I’m not feeling too terribly overwhelmed, yet. Though I do dream someday of taking vacation time for reasons other than finishing work on a novel…

Vámonos!

It’s another Wednesday, and that means, another installment in The Alphabet Quartet is up at Daily Science Fiction! This week it’s one of my favorites, “V is for Vámonos.” (Yes, we’re aiming for the huge demographic of people who like Dora the Explorer and Conrad’s Heart of Darkness.Though ideally it’s an interesting weird story even if you haven’t seen/read those.) I can’t believe we’ve hit V already. The end is near. It’s been a fun six months!

The good people at Escape Artists, home of the leading SF/Fantasy/Horror podcasts, are also releasing audio versions of the stories, plus some extras, as a fundraiser prize. But they’ve giving away free samples to entice you, so listen to them at Podcastle; and at Escape Pod; and at Pseudopod.

Short Story E-book Extravaganza

I’ve been putting a bunch of short stories up at Amazon and B&N as 99 cent e-books. Here are several stories at the Kindle store, and a few Marla Mason stories as well.

If you prefer the Nook format, you can find many of the stories there too!. And some Marla Mason stories there as well. I’ll be adding more!

Jenn Reese designed the covers for “Life in Stone” and “Hart and Boot” (and for some of my upcoming e-stories too). She’s an awesome designer, and I’m lucky to have her work make my fiction look good.

Beach Life

So much news, really, it’s a bit ridiculous.

My novels Bone Shop and Broken Mirrors are going to be audiobooks, available from Audible.com! I’ve known about this for a while, but was waiting to announce until contracts were signed.

Cool things: Jessica Almasy will be the narrator again, as she was on the first four audiobooks in the Marla Mason series. And! Audible has commissioned Dan Dos Santos to do new, original covers for the audiobook editions, so there will be consistent cover art for all six volumes. I am SO EXCITED. I talked to Dan a bit last week about possibilities for illustrations, and he has some fantastic ideas. I can’t wait to see what he comes up with.

No idea when the audiobooks will be available. (I mean, they have to actually record them and everything.) You’ll know when I do.

In new fiction news… A bit over a week ago I wrote a story, “The Secret Beach,” at a playground while my kid napped in his stroller. Most of the stories I write these days are commissioned and written with a specific market in mind, but this was like the old days: an idea, some images, a few phrases, a character, and just writing as fast as I could. I typed it up that night, revising as I went; did a couple of read-throughs to clean up the language; got my wife’s opinion; sent it off. Six days after I wrote the first line, I had an acceptance: look for it in a future issue of Fantasy Magazine. Yay! I had a story in their first issue, back when they were still print. It’s nice to be back. (That was actually the second place I submitted the story — the first gave me a “close but not quite.” Rejections never stop entirely, y’all, but they mostly stopped stinging after the first two hundred or so.)

My Memorial Day weekend has been spent largely in thrall to my novel Briarpatch, making what are (I hope) the last changes before it goes to copyedits. Lots and lots of little things, and a few big things, and it’s a better book for it. Draining work, though. I still love this book. My most personal novel since Rangergirl. I’m glad you’ll all get to read it.

I also laid down a few words on City of the Fallen Sky, which is moving along nicely, if not quite quickly enough. I still have two months to finish. It’s enough, but it won’t leave me much time for video games or TV show marathons in the evenings. After that deadline, I have six months before another book is due, so I’ll be able to take it easy in the back half of the year.

Unless some irresistibly interesting project presents itself…

Bordertown Contest Winner

Allow me to settle comfortably into my position as arbiter of all law and taste. Let the band name selection begin!

First, wow. What an astonishing outpouring of great ideas. Here are a few of my favorites — call them “Honorable Mentions” or “tied for first-runner-up.”

    Ahimsa: “The Split Infinitives”

    Sasha: “Edgy hedgehogs” [I like it partly because it reminds of Hedge, the bassist for the band in Emma Bull’s great novel War for the Oaks]

    Ken: “Vampires with Amplifiers”

    Dot Hutchison: “Demented Velociraptor”

    Mia MacHatton: “Seven Chicken Nightmare” [I think I’ve eaten that]

    Alyx Dellamonica: “High Chance of Gore”

    Caio Marinho “The High-Z Supernova Search Team”

    ClaireBear: “The Monstrous Regiment”

    merkusa: “The Bootless Noobs” [And ellise’s spoonerized response, “Newtless Boobs.”]

    Continuity: “Schrödinger’s Yeti.”

    Pamela D. Lloyd: “Kate and the Crackernuts”

    amber: “robot spelling bee”

    enui_iune: “Joyce and the Defenestrators”

    kythiaranos: “Pimpish Wit”

    Dayle Dermatis’s “Petty Teenage Love Triangle” [I was in a couple of those]

I also appreciated Gary’s entries, with references to many of my books:

    “Bride of Death” “The Jump Engines”, “The Nex Big Thing”, “The Masonites.” But flattery will get you nowhere! (Well, this time. Usually it’s a pretty good route.)

Some Bordertown contributors made great suggestions, but must be excluded, on the basis that they’ll get a copy of the anthology anyway:

    Ellen Kushner’s “Rivendell 9-1-1” and Jane Yolen’s “First Star to the Right”

But there can be only one winner, and so, after much deliberation, I have chosen:

Michelle John: “Ophelia Dreaming”

Mostly because it sounds like a band I could imagine playing one of the clubs in Bordertown. Michelle will win a copy of Welcome to Bordertown — but fear not. The rest of you can get one, too. You just have to buy it or hit the library. Everyone wins!

Bordertown Book Giveaway Contest

People! I am throwing a contest. You can win a copy of Welcome to Bordertown, the awesome anthology that’s relaunching the beloved shared-world contemporary fantasy series.

My story “Our Stars, Our Selves” features a would-be rock star, and in recognition of that fact, here’s what you do to win:

Give me your best imaginary name for a band.

That’s it. Leave your ideal imaginary band name in the comments here, any time between now and midnight Pacific time on Friday, May 20th. I will choose my favorite (I dare not say “the best”), and the winner will be sent a copy of the anthology. One entry per commenter, please. (If I am utterly torn and unable to choose among the top contenders, I will apply some sort of randomization to determine the winner from that pool.) Do include an e-mail of some kind so I can contact you in case you win.

(Fake band names only, please. The point isn’t to promote your emocore shoegaze string quartet, no matter how cool your name is, though of course I wish you the best of luck.)

I mean, I assume everyone else is like me and my friends, in that every time you utter or encounter an unusual phrase, you immediately declare, “That’s going to be the name of my next band.” (I’ve named lots of fictional bands, from Allison Wonderland to Feral Sex Herd to Vicodin Love Confession — though I had to take that last one out of a novel when an actual band started using it as their name.) Now you can turn that band-naming impulse into sweet free book profit!

One Stitch for Every Year He’s Been Alive

Last week was drama-tastic. On Monday River had a mid-playground head-on collision with another kid at preschool. He got a pretty bad gash, possibly from the frame of his glasses cutting into his flesh. I had to pick him up and take him to the hospital so his head wound could be treated. The pediatrician initially thought she could glue the cut over his eye closed, but, nope, they deemed it too deep, so we were sent to the Emergency Room. He got three stitches. Poor kid. He was a trouper, though. The doctor and nurse were prepared for a problem child. I tried to tell them, “No, he’ll be fine, he had his first surgery at four months old and many since, he’s not scared of doctors or medical procedures.” But the doctor said, “He’s going to kick and writhe like crazy when I inject the local anesthetic,” and they swaddled him in a sheet and had the nurse and I hold him down. All unnecessary, of course, as he was hardly bothered a bit. He actually fell asleep while the doctor was stitching up the wound. Tough little guy!

Then on Tuesday night he got an upset stomach and puked a lot, so I stayed home with him on Wednesday to make sure he was better. Not fun, but it was even less fun for him than it was for me. Fortunately by the weekend he was our usual happy guy again, and he got the stitches out on Friday. He’ll have a small scar. I told him to tell everyone he got it saving a puppy from bikers.

***

I’m a bit over 10,000 words into my Pathfinder Tales novel City of the Fallen Sky, most of that written over the weekend, and it’s going well. Writing from a detailed outline is odd, and contrary to my usual make-it-up-as-I-go approach, but it’s working out. I had a couple of false starts on this book, but I’ve settled into a voice that seems to work. And now it’s a tenth of the way done! (Maybe even a ninth.) I’m a lot less panicked now. Indeed, I’m a fairly cheerful guy in most respects. (This probably means something awful will happen soon.)

***

The weekend wasn’t all spent writing. David Moles came over for dinner one night, and Heather made an awesome pasta dish with leeks and eggs and bacon, yum. We drank beer and wine and chatted about life and books and other good things. I’m seldom social these days — both busy and reclusive, but it was nice to have a friend over.

During dinner a guy knocked on the door to tell me he was going to be renting the upstairs apartment and using it as a halfway house for a rotating cast of homeless men, and wanted to make sure I’d be okay with that, and that if I had any problems, I’d talk to him, and not bother the landlord. (This worried me, as it seems like the kind of thing you say when you’re anticipating problems, and don’t want word of said problems getting back to the landlord.) I responded with a resounding, “Uhhhh….” I talked to the landlord later, and he said the guy hadn’t even put in an application yet, and had made no mention during their conversation about using the place in such a way, and that he wasn’t interested in renting the place out for such a purpose.

I felt kind of bad for my reaction — I don’t want to be all “not in my backyard,” and finding housing for the homeless is a noble thing, but I do have a very trusting three-year-old who spends a lot of time running around literally in my backyard, and the prospect of a shifting group of strangers coming in and out of the place upstairs — with which we share that yard — would have given me a lot of stress and worry and anxiety. (A homeless guy, or a homeless family, no problem — but the halfway house aspect, with new people coming in and out, was troubling.)

I’m selfishly glad it’s not something I’ll have to deal with, but I’m also reminded how lucky I am to be able to worry about stuff like that instead of, say, having a place to sleep at night.